My number a crushes. (giggle)

         The title isn't what it sounds like.  Well . . . I guess it is, but it really doesn't seem to creepy to me.

         My little boy crushes started with a boy maybe four.  His name was Amman with wavy blond hair and the sweetest, biggest, brown eyes you can imagine.  You could run up to him in church with open arms and without even saying the words he will hug you and kiss you on your cheeks.  My first heartbreak was moving out of that ward and moving away from him.
          My second little boy crush is now five years old, my ballet teacher's little boy.  He has bright blond hair and blue eyes.  I love him not only because of his adorableness but because of the cute things he says.  Like this:
One day I started singing Beauty and the Beast when Andrew (the little boy) came up to me and said "Don't sing that song it will make me cry!" and I said "Why would it make you cry?"  and he said "Because it's so pretty!"  How could anyone resist that from a little boy?
          Skipping a couple of little boy crushes I will hump to my current little boy crush.  Through the years m little boy crushes have gotten older.  Not to old!  My oldest is eight.  This kid just highlights my day every time I see him.  Aaron, he is a Hispanic, with dark hair, dark eyelashes (That is my favorite) and the CUTEST smile.  He blushes every time I smile at him.  He has a two year old sister who he simply adores and it is the curtest thing to see them play together.
          Also, I saw a little boy in Lizzie's ward who is Tanner's friend, who looks like the mini virsion of my celebrity crush.  How could a girl resist that? 
          And of course their always my celebrity little boy crushes.  Steve gave us the movie Oliver the musical for Christmas.  Oh my gosh, Oliver is SO adorable!
           And Jason.

          Just some things that highlight my days.

I'm sadly becoming more and more like Aliese

           It isn't that I wouldn't want to be more like Aliese, it's just weird and different.  We've always been our separate person, right?   And come to think of it, Aliese wouldn't let me be like her if I wanted to.  It's not really what I'm doing that makes me like her, but it's my cravings.
            Ever since I finished Les Miserables I' v been reading books like crazy.  Now to speak of something we weren't talking about, has everyone seen Aliese's book collection?  I think she has counted sixty or seventy books, eighty with her journals.  Some are beautiful and expensive copies.  Others are just paper back but still look brand new, when they were bought when she was in kindergarten.  Anyway, there's a whole lot of them.  There is a curtain collection of great classics that are the most beautiful beautiful books she's been given (or gotten herself.)  And I started taking a strange fancy to them.  And it sort of scared me.  Cause I don't own one book of my own, and I don't care.  Do I?
            It was maybe two weeks ago, when mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  Instead of screaming without hesitation "Cloths!  Always more cloths!" I thought a second.  I thought of Les Miserables, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Great Expectations.  Then I thought of the collection of classics on Aliese's shelf.  How ebarrest I felt for saying what I felt.  But if I want something very Christmas, I want something for Christmas.
           "I want-"
           This was interrupted by a depressed sigh.
           "You know the collection of beautiful classics you got Aliese last year?"
            Mom nods her head suspiciously.
           "I want something like that with my favorite books."
            "Really?"
            "Yes!"
            "Okay."

             Don't think that I'm scared of changing at all.  I'm not, I don't need any comments of advise but mere appreciation.
     

Lasagna Scene

       So a while ago mom got this lasagna somewhere and we were heating it up in the oven for dinner.  Alises was making salad and asked me to stick my finger in the lasagna to see if it was ready or not.  So I open the burning hot oven and stick my clean finger in the dinner.  And now I am washing off my finger.  This scene shows the stupider side of me. 

Aliese:  Well?

Anna:  Well?

Alises:  How did it feel?

Anna:  Gushy.

Alises:  Oh really?  Well was it warm?

Anna:  Ya, it was warm.

Alises:  Warm enough to take out?

Anna:  Sure, take it out.

(Aliese roles her eyes)

Aliese:  Well I didn't tell you to stick your finger in their for a good time!

Anna:  Oh . . . . do you want me to check again.

Aliese:  Yes!

(After I stick my finger in their once again)

Alises:  Well?

Anna:  Well?

Alises:  How did the stupid lasagna feel?

Anna:  Gushy.

       It turned out to be done and miraculously didn't burn.  Though my finger was smashed into the noodles twice it still tasted good.  We thought it was funny.  Also this was more resent and much more violent.  We were having chopped potatoes for dinner and I had just been insulted by my sister Aliese, who thankfully was sitting right across from me at the table.  Me, being angry at my sister picked up a chunk of potato, put it on my fork (not meaning anything at all to happen, just thought the potato would fall back on my plate) I flick the potato across the table, it hits Aliese right in the middle of her forehead and slides down her nose.  We had a good laugh.  It reminds me of something Elle would do.  Just thought I should post one more thing before I tell you my inspiration. 

Just a thought that has to be said

Ha!!!  Ha!!!  I enjoyed your similar comments.  I hate to say it but you guys know me so well, a boy would defiantly be some inspiration to me and I would believe you if you insisted that this was the true reason.  But sadly, you are terribly mistaken.  It's not a boy.

Am I killing you yet? 

My guitar life is on a role . . . but it most likly won't last long.

         I' v been playing the guitar like crazy.  Every time I would play it my finger tips would hurt, now I officially have calluses.  The guitar is no longer Steve's and I call it "my" guitar without even noticing.  But when Steve is in the house and I'd say "Steve can you hand me my guitar."  He looks at me "What guitar?  Who's guitar?" "Your guitar." and sometimes when I'm really tired or out of sorts I say "The guitar."
         Before it would take me a month to finish a song.  Now in the past month I' v written and rewriting five of the best songs I' v ever written.  And sometimes when I have one of my own songs stuck in my head (that's the worst) and I'm singing it Aliese goes "What song are you singing?" and giggle and say "Mine." and Aliese goes "Oh.  Well now I can't even tell the difference."  Great, right?
         I know what the inspiration is and I'm afraid to tell you cause I know you'll take it the wrong way and joke me about it the rest of my life.  So just to give you something to think about I'll leave you in suspense a while.  And I don't even know if I'll ever tell you.  Leave your hunches in the comments if you must but know I will not be returning any to you.
         Who knows, maybe it will last. 
   

All shaking, and I can't get rid of it!!!

       There are a number of reasons why I should be shaky.  Personal reasons no one would know of and reasons that make more since that you would know of.  But to me . . . this makes perfect since to be all shaken up, because e I am unfortunately one of those people who take books seriously and suffer from it.  In case you didn't know I finished The Count of Monte Cristo a while ago, and before then talked to mom of what book I should read next.  I' v  heard of Dickens of course, I' v seen movies of Dickens I think, I appreciate Dickens because I have heard that he is fabulous.  I have looked at his books on the book shelf.  Passed them with no hint of desire to pick it up.  Not once did I consider Dickens would be, in future years, a childhood memory.  I thought it as something to look forward to in the future when I was married and had kids and needed to get my mind off my own problems.  But this expected happening would not come to pass in my adult years.  Yes my friends I am reading Dickens.
       Not all of them!!!  Goodness no, I am reading just one.  Normally and happily, chapter by chapter, slow but sure I am getting through the painful, heartbreaking, heart changing story of Pip and his fellow sufferers.  I now hardly call this book that I am reading by its given name (Great Expectations) but I have replaced it with a name which is much more to the point, this title is Pip.  "Okay, I'm gonna go read Pip."  This is my everyday saying, I say it so much it might be consistered my motto though it means nothing of great worth.  mine is, as reported "Okay, I'm gonna go read Pip."

       Pip.  Tear.  Sigh.  Poor, poor, Pip.

       I feel like mom when she told me what Great Expectations was about.  I ask her "Whats it about mom?"  Like I was finally going to know what the big deal was over Dickens.  Mom slowly, as if in slow  motion, pits her hand on her heart, closes her eyes, stays for a second as if in a moment of heaven, and answers wiping a barly invisalble tear "Pip."  I responded, completely with honest tone "Whats a Pip?"  This was the beginning of a desire.
       Shall we skip a while to right now?  I'v just come out from my room, I can't say that I have just come out of my zone because I haven't.  I am SHAKY, my teeth CHATTERING, my legs WOBBLING, my mind NOT ON THE PRESENT DAY.  I'm ready to SCREAM for no reason at all.  Not for joy, not for despair, maybe just to let everyone know I am full of passion and feeling somthing stronger then book attachment.  I don't scream I talk to my mom.  The charater I am SHAKEN about she doesn't remember.  Because of that she was helpful in one way, and that was that she listened to me with pleasure.  Unlike Aliese who will say whenever I tell her about it, "I don't remember anything from that book Anna, I'm sorry!" she says this impatiently and obviously not sorry.  Finally mom remebering slightly who I'm SHAKEN about nods her head silently when all the sudden her phone rings in my ears seeming to say "I'm rudely interrupting!  Yes!"  Mom hurries away and I am left with my SHAKY self.

       Yep, Great Expectations.  Nope, I'm not half way yet.  Yep, I'm scared for the end too.  Nope, I haven't cried yet.  Yep, I intend to.  

I did not know books were this powerful

    Whoa.  Whoa.  I 'v accomplished a lot this summer.  Well I guess not a lot, but it seemed like a lot because it was so big.  It wasn't me going to girls camp.  Sorry but no that was not the high light of my summer.  How long I am going to keep you in suspense I don't know.  In the mean time lets talk about nothing.

      I'm already bored.

      Okay, it all started when I was at my dad's.  I was pretty bored and must have been pretty desperate because I was looking at the many bookshelves.  There was no guarantee I was going to really pick up a book and start reading it.  I was just looking.  Then something caught my eye.  Les Miserables.  I 'v seen the movie but that's not why it caught my eye.  Dad has the twenty fifth anniversary concert of Les Miserables, It's just a concert, no acting, just singing on a stage, nothing extreme.  Oh, my, me and Aliese fell in love the day we saw that.  Oh . . . it was so . . . . and then . . . . I mean . . . . (sigh.)  Let's put it this way, the family watched it three times that day.  No lie.  So naturally me and Aliese and even Gracie know every word to the songs and every detail in the story.
      So anyway the book caught my eye.  I pick it up, still not expecting anything meraculous to happen.  I turn to the last page and look at the page number.  520.  It was ubrigded.  I flip tot he first page and read half of the parograph.
      "What?"  I said.
       Nothing made sense.  I could have said oh well, put it back on the shelf and forget about it, but I didn't.  Maybe it was the holy ghost, or maybe the holy ghost had nothing to do with it an I was just smart.  I turned to my favorite spot in the story.  If you know me at all you will know what this part was.  The romance of Marius and Cosette (sigh.)  Finding it certainly took a while, it took a couple days.  But once I found it . . . . ho ho it was worth every second.
       IT WAS SO STINKING GOOD!!!!  The first full chapter I read was called the conjuction of two stars.  How poetic and romantic is that?  I love it!  I love it I love it.  Sometimes I would just stop, wipe a tear, and say "It's just so good."
        Not only is it such a good story but Victor Hugo is such a good writer.  I love his style.  I love the rich language.  I love the characters.  I love everything.
        Aliese came to dad's two weeks after me and Gracie so her room was empty.  That's where I read it.  I didn't want anyone to know I had started from the middle of it.  I could not imagain the horror on Aliese's, Dad's, or Diane's face.  Gracie caught me, she can't keep a seceret so I didn't tell her.  She didn't care a hoot about it, she ignored.  I kept reading.  I fell deeper, and deeper into the book.  It only got better.
       It was like three days or something when dad walked in the room when I was reading.  I thought it was Gracie so I wasn't prepared.  I hid it under my pillow in a hurry.  He seemed to have seen it and didn't believe that I was just a little jumpy that day.

Dad:  Anna . . . what have you got there?

I couldn't lie.

Me:  A book.

He looked as nevouse as I was.

Dad:  What book?

I slowly pulled it out.  He took it.

Dad:  Les Miserables?

I nod.

Dad:  Why didn't you tell me?

Me:  I thought that you would be mad because I started from the middle.

Dad:  I'm not mad.

I feel as though the heat was rising from me and relief swept over me.

Me:  Oh.

Dad laughs.

Dad:  How is it?

He knew what the answer was.

Me:  Amazing.

Dad:  How long have you been reading it?

Me:  A few days.

Dad:  Where did you start?

Me:  When Marius and Cosette fall in love.

Dad chuckles.

Dad:  Uh hu.  That's what I thought.

Me:  What do you mean.

Dad:   Your a romance girl.

I smiled and he left.  Oh, without the book.

        I didn't read the book like anyone would normally read it I skipped some boring parts that I didn't understand, but not that many at all.  Then I would go back several chapters and read my favorite parts again.  Again and again and again.  I basically memorized it.  I read when Marius and Cosette first met.  When Marius met Eponine.  It was all just too good to read once.  I skipped some of the war because war just isn't my thing and then once when I was reading I noticed how much I had left.  It was less then half a millimeter.  PANIC ATTACK!!!  To think of life without my precious book is to think of deaths bitter clutches.  How could I survive without it?  There was only one thing to do.  Finish it, and then start from the beginning.  And that's what I did.  
      I finished it the first time thru.  Then, I started over.  It was as good as the middle!  I should have just started from the beginning.  Reading the whole thing makes me feel so much more for all the characters.  Before I read about Fantine I didn't cry when she sings the song when she's dying (either when we listen to it in the car our in the concert) but now I haave to blink back tears.  It's so sad.  But so good.
       If you really know me then you will know before Les Miserables I hated reading.  HATED it.  Mom and Aliese tried so many books, but after Harry Potter I thought that all books were second best, and becuase of that I didn't want to read them.  Now even though I have finished Les Miserables (tear) I love to read, because I'v found out I love rich and complicated language.  So I'm going to read that sort of stuff.  I'v started a new book also ubrigded.  The Count of Monte Cristo.  So good.  Love it.  It's 509 pages, but since I don't know the story I'm gonna read every word.  Now my list of favorite books SO FAR is like so:

1. Les Miserables (nothing like it)
2. The Count of Monte Cristo ( love it)
3. Harry Potter (the best start to wonderful books)

       And there you have it.
       By the way, reading Les Miserables didn't take all summer.  It was so good I read it one and a half times in two weeks.  I'm also having a meutual activity on Wensday where we are suppose to bring our favorite book, talk about why you love it so much, and dress as your favorite character.  I can't dress up like a guy so I'm going as Eponine, who is not my favorite character but like I said I can't go as Jean Valjean.
        Love you all!