There are a number of reasons why I should be shaky. Personal reasons no one would know of and reasons that make more since that you would know of. But to me . . . this makes perfect since to be all shaken up, because e I am unfortunately one of those people who take books seriously and suffer from it. In case you didn't know I finished The Count of Monte Cristo a while ago, and before then talked to mom of what book I should read next. I' v heard of Dickens of course, I' v seen movies of Dickens I think, I appreciate Dickens because I have heard that he is fabulous. I have looked at his books on the book shelf. Passed them with no hint of desire to pick it up. Not once did I consider Dickens would be, in future years, a childhood memory. I thought it as something to look forward to in the future when I was married and had kids and needed to get my mind off my own problems. But this expected happening would not come to pass in my adult years. Yes my friends I am reading Dickens.
Not all of them!!! Goodness no, I am reading just one. Normally and happily, chapter by chapter, slow but sure I am getting through the painful, heartbreaking, heart changing story of Pip and his fellow sufferers. I now hardly call this book that I am reading by its given name (Great Expectations) but I have replaced it with a name which is much more to the point, this title is Pip. "Okay, I'm gonna go read Pip." This is my everyday saying, I say it so much it might be consistered my motto though it means nothing of great worth. mine is, as reported "Okay, I'm gonna go read Pip."
Pip. Tear. Sigh. Poor, poor, Pip.
I feel like mom when she told me what Great Expectations was about. I ask her "Whats it about mom?" Like I was finally going to know what the big deal was over Dickens. Mom slowly, as if in slow motion, pits her hand on her heart, closes her eyes, stays for a second as if in a moment of heaven, and answers wiping a barly invisalble tear "Pip." I responded, completely with honest tone "Whats a Pip?" This was the beginning of a desire.
Shall we skip a while to right now? I'v just come out from my room, I can't say that I have just come out of my zone because I haven't. I am SHAKY, my teeth CHATTERING, my legs WOBBLING, my mind NOT ON THE PRESENT DAY. I'm ready to SCREAM for no reason at all. Not for joy, not for despair, maybe just to let everyone know I am full of passion and feeling somthing stronger then book attachment. I don't scream I talk to my mom. The charater I am SHAKEN about she doesn't remember. Because of that she was helpful in one way, and that was that she listened to me with pleasure. Unlike Aliese who will say whenever I tell her about it, "I don't remember anything from that book Anna, I'm sorry!" she says this impatiently and obviously not sorry. Finally mom remebering slightly who I'm SHAKEN about nods her head silently when all the sudden her phone rings in my ears seeming to say "I'm rudely interrupting! Yes!" Mom hurries away and I am left with my SHAKY self.
Yep, Great Expectations. Nope, I'm not half way yet. Yep, I'm scared for the end too. Nope, I haven't cried yet. Yep, I intend to.